Of all the things in life this far, the most fun I've had is loving Lariah, along with a lot of other little kiddos. But Lariah spent more time with me than any other kid. There will likely be many stories of the kids I have loved if this blog last very long.
We became friends when she was three years old and I probably earned best friend status by the time she turned 5.
She was the most outgoing, bubbly, friendly, spunky, little girl I had ever met. Over the years, she slowly won over more and more of my heart. It started out with me picking her up everyday after work, then her spending weekends with me, and slowly from age three to thirteen we spent most of our time together.
I love that girl. I don't know what it is like to have a kid, but goodness, there were moments when we were playing outside, roller blading, playing basketball, running or cooking in the kitchen and time seemed to move in slow motion. As I watched her I could feel my heart would swell and tears brim my eyes because the love in my heart was so full.
When she spent the night, she could delay lights out like a champ. After laying in bed and going over every single topic she could think of, reading one more chapter, and her asking me for one more face massage, head rub or back scratch she would finally get into "that deep sleep" as she called it. I would sneak out of her room and watch her sleep. She was so safe, so loved, so peaceful and again, tears would brim my eyes. My heart just can't handle how much I love her.
Lariah and I have a million stories and there really isn't one that sticks out more than the others, but when God opened the door for me to love that girl the lessons He had for me were were countless.
Lariah wanted me to buy her a bicycle; with streamers and a bell. I was working for a non-profit and was barely getting paid anything each month. I explained to her that I couldn't afford to just buy her a bicycle, but if I budgeted a little each month and she still wanted one when I saved enough, I would buy one for her.
She promptly replied, "Well, I am going to just ask Jesus"
"You do that." I said, "I think that is a great idea, y'all chat that out."
The next day I went to work, phone rang, and I happened to answer it. It was the local food bank.
The sweet lady on the other side of line said, "Someone dropped of a bicycle here and it is brand new. Super cute, has purple streamers and a bell."
I almost rolled my eyes as I smirked, "Oh yes, that is for us and I know exactly who that is for."
I picked up the bike and when Lariah came over that evening she saw the bike in the carport.
I can still see her reaching to grab the metal bars of the headrest from her booster in the back to peak through the small hole between the headrest and the seat.
With a grin wiped clear across her face, "You got me that bike!"
"Oh, no. I did not. I could not afford that."
Inquisitively she looked at me, then confidence came over her and she said, full of sass and matter of factness, "Ah, that is from Jesus because He has more money than you," as she unbuckled and got out of the car.
I chuckled and I also crawled out of the car with my usual load of so many bags. "Yes, He definitely has a lot more money than me."
I still laugh when I think about her getting that bike and her faith. She wanted something and asked Jesus for it. Her ask was not accompanied with worry or what she had to do to make that happen, it was a simple; ask Jesus and go play with my friends at school, whatever happened after that: bike or no bike, she was good. What do you know? Jesus was getting her that bike, and just the way she wanted it. Why? Because He loves her and He gives good gifts in the perfect time.
Even as I write this, there is a twinge of conviction. How I pray and then accompany my prayers with worry, over analyzation, questioning if I am hearing from God or if I can hear from God, am I making the best decision, wondering why things didn't or aren't going the way I want them to.
Most of us know that Sunday School memory verse, "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 (NLT)
Don't I wish I could walk this out and get my heart to agree as easily as I can recite it.
I will step out side of this story for a moment and say: I also know good and well that Jesus gives me what I need, which often times doesn't align with what I want. Just like the story of the man asking for healing. Jesus did eventually heal the lame man, but first gave him what He really needed, a healed heart - salvation. Then when the most important thing was taken care of, Jesus gave the lame man what he wanted. That is love. Giving us what we really need to be made whole.
Back to the story.
Not long after Lariah got her first bike from Jesus. I was cleaning up the kitchen after a weekend with a house FULL of kids, which was a very common occurrence. Talking to Jesus as I was scrubbing and putting up the last of the dishes, "God, I really wish I had a gas grill to keep this mess outside."
Two weeks later I pulled in my house and saw a brand new gas grill in my car port. I opened it up and there was a card that read, "Jesus said, 'Feed My Sheep'."
Cue the stream of tears.
God sees us, even when it doesn't feel like it. He meets our needs, and at times our wants. If only every anxiety and want of my heart could be met with the prayer and the faith of a 5 year old little girl. What a privilege to get to love Lariah.
Photo credit: Emily McCartney Photography, @roadrunnergallery. Precious Emily was at my parent's barns and grabbed this photo of us. Thanks so much Emily, you captured one of my favorite smiles in the world.